The Hidden Weight of Toxic Positivity

A Day in the Life of Sarah:

Sarah woke up to sunlight filtering through her window. She had been feeling “off” for days, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. As she scrolled through her social media feed, she saw post after post proclaiming, “Just think positive!” and “Happiness is a choice!” She took a deep breath, trying to convince herself that this, too, was just a mindset problem.

At work, things didn’t improve. Sarah was overwhelmed with deadlines, yet every time she tried to open up about it, her colleague Lisa would jump in, saying, “Just focus on the good things. At least you have a job!” Although Lisa probably meant well, it left Sarah feeling like her concerns weren’t valid.

At lunch, Sarah met her friend, Jess. Jess noticed her unusually quiet demeanour and asked, “Are you okay?” The words came tumbling out of Sarah’s mouth: how she felt trapped, how she was struggling, and how the relentless encouragement to stay positive was beginning to weigh her down. Jess nodded, listening intently. She finally said, “Sarah, it sounds like you’re carrying a lot. It’s okay to not be okay.”

Sarah felt a flood of relief at those words. Jess wasn’t trying to plaster over her feelings with positivity. She was offering a safe space where Sarah could be herself, in all her messiness and complexity.

Reflecting on Sarah’s Story

This is where toxic positivity becomes a double-edged sword. The pressure to “stay positive” often leads to the erasure of genuine feelings. While positivity has its place, it can sometimes act as a mask, creating a disconnect between what we feel and what we think we should feel.

True positivity lies in authenticity. It acknowledges that sadness, fear, and frustration are part of the human experience. By embracing this, we create a space for true healing. Let’s take a lesson from Jess in Sarah’s story. The best support we can offer is listening, validating, and sitting with each other in difficult moments.

Please share your thoughts or leave a heart if this resonates with you.

Regards,

Priya Mani.