“What we resist, persists.”- The Silent Escape from Growth

Priya Mani
Nov 17, 2024
2 min read

“What we resist, persists.”

This was the mantra Amara lived by. Yet, as the days turned into years, she realized her deep belief in “letting go” was nothing more than a smokescreen. The very spiritual practices she loved had become tools of avoidance. This is the subtle danger of spiritual bypassing.

Amara had faced immense grief after losing her father. But instead of sitting with her pain, she turned to yoga classes, affirmations, and spiritual retreats. When friends asked how she was feeling, her response was always the same: “The universe has a plan. Everything happens for a reason.” Beneath the surface, she was shattered.

One night, during a mindfulness retreat, the facilitator asked, “What emotion are you running from?” That question pierced through her defenses. Tears flowed. It was then she realized her "spiritual practice" wasn’t healing her but shielding her from facing grief head-on.

What is Spiritual Bypassing?

Coined by psychotherapist John Welwood, spiritual bypassing refers to using spiritual beliefs and practices to avoid confronting unresolved emotions, psychological wounds, or personal challenges.

This includes:

Dismissing Negative Emotions: Believing feelings like anger or sadness are “low vibrational.”
Overemphasis on Positivity: Using positivity to invalidate genuine struggles.
Avoiding Personal Responsibility: Blaming circumstances on "karma" or "the universe" instead of acknowledging one’s role in a situation.

Why Is It Harmful?

Spiritual bypassing creates a disconnection from reality, which can lead to:

Emotional Suppression: Bottled-up feelings often resurface as anxiety, depression, or physical ailments.
Shallow Relationships: Avoiding tough conversations or emotions prevents genuine connections.
Stalled Growth: True self-awareness requires facing challenges, not avoiding them.

Steps to Overcome Spiritual Bypassing

Acknowledge Pain: Recognize the emotions you're avoiding. Journaling can be a safe starting point.
Seek Support: If you have tried everything and seem to have come to the end of it, I strongly suggest you work with me and give Journeying a try!
Balance Spirituality with Reality: Practices like meditation and gratitude are valuable, but they should coexist with honest self-reflection.
Embrace Vulnerability: Allow yourself to feel anger, sadness, or frustration without labeling them as “bad.”

Are you leaning on spiritual tools to escape discomfort, or are you using them to dig deeper into your truth?

Start by reflecting on one unresolved emotion you’ve been avoiding.
Journal about it, talk to someone you trust, or sit with it in silence. True healing begins when we stop running.

Remember, spirituality is not about avoiding the storm—it is about learning to dance in the rain.